Tin Roof, Rusted
by Caitiy
Summary: Breaking the news could have gone better… [KakaSaku Month - Week 2 Day 5]


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters contained therein, they belong to Masashi Kishimoto who is kind enough to let fans write fiction. I make no profit from this nor do I intend to.

A/N: So I believe we've already established that I'm suggestible to a ridiculous degree. This fic came out of something one of my betas, WitchesRayne, mentioned to me in an email. Since I didn't have a prompt for week 2 of KakaSaku Month (I was originally going to post Eye of the Beholder sometime during week 2) I figured I should get it written so I'd have an actual prompt fic to post for week 2. ^^;; Many thanks to my betas, La Moonlight Lily and WitchesRayne, without you two ladies I'd never get anything posted!

* * *

 **Tin Roof, Rusted**

"You're _WHAT_?!"

"Eh, heh." She raised an awkward hand to rub the back of her neck, suddenly very glad that she'd made her partner come with her as she felt him slip his arm around her waist. "I'm pregnant, three months… ha ha... surprise…" she trailed off, glad for the supportive squeeze she received from the father of her unborn child standing by her side. "It was a surprise for us too…" The arm around her waist tightened again. "But a happy one, we think…"

The shocked woman shifted her attention to the taller of the two shinobi. "You do this, Kakashi?" She couldn't help but ask, unnecessarily, as their body language was clear on the topic of the child's paternity.

It was then his turn to awkwardly raise his unoccupied hand to the back of his neck. Figuring that nothing he could possibly say on the topic would improve the Hokage's mood. He only nodded, again absently pulling the younger woman standing next to him a little closer and slightly in front of him, his other arm itching to either wrap itself around her shoulders or join its twin around her waist.

Unable to take the silence, Sakura tried to improve the situation. "We'll get married - make it official - if that's what you're concerned about. Kakashi isn't about to run off or deny responsibility or anything like that… Just didn't think a piece of paper was all that important in the grand scheme of things…" she trailed off as her mentor narrowed her eyes dangerously. Apparently that was not the correct tack to take with her.

The volatile blonde eyed the two silent shinobi for a moment before slamming her fist down on the desk in front of her. " _Damn it,_ " she cursed as bits of the desktop ricocheted around the room, though miraculously the desk more or less managed to stay largely intact.

Both Sakura and Kakashi couldn't help but cringe away from their Hokage's fit of irritation. The older man pulling his lover closer, slipping his unoccupied arm around her shoulders and turning her and then them to the side, automatically trying to shield her from the airborne bits of wood without any apparent thought for his actions. He now had an unborn child to think about and wasn't about to let an irate Hokage possibly harm his child before said child was even born.

Ignoring the two uncertain shinobi before her, the Hokage rummaged around in her desk for a moment before finally pulling out a small black book.

Sakura had to stifle a gasp, shaking her head a little when her silver-haired lover shot her an inquisitive glance. She recognized that particular book and she'd never in a million years thought that she might have anything to do with its contents. Though, she couldn't quite guess _how_ she could have earned her listing in that particular book.

Hastily, the irritated blonde woman flipped through the little book, mumbling to herself. "Damn it, too late for that one." She paused, then flipped another page. "Not that one either, I wonder if…" another few pages flipped quickly under her agitated fingers. "No. But, maybe if…"

Sakura and Kakashi exchanged glances, wondering if they were dismissed seeing as how the Hokage seemed to have lost interest in them in favor of her book but suspecting that it would be a bad idea to try and interrupt her to find out.

A moment later, the busty woman violently jabbed a finger in her book and glanced up at the two bewildered shinobi in front of her. "What the hell? _Seriously?_ " She paused to silently count on her fingers. "I sent you two on that incredibly romantic undercover mission as _newlyweds_ who spent the vast majority of their time in their hotel room and _that_ didn't do it?"

Sakura felt her face turn crimson and she had to fight the urge to bury her face in Kakashi's chest; this was not how she had been expecting her former mentor to react. To prevent temptation, she gently disengaged herself from his arms and took a small step sideways - cheeks still burning.

Kakashi cleared his throat, afraid he might know what Tsunade was asking. "Didn't do _what_ , exactly?"

Beyond frustrated, the older woman gestured at Sakura's midsection. " _That!_ "

Sakura's eyes widened. "You were _expecting_ this?"

"Yes! _Goddammit!_ I was expecting to win the baby pool too!"

" _WHAT?!_ " the both of them couldn't help but exclaim in surprise.

"Why the hell do you suppose I sent you on all those missions together? Can't let the chance to stack the deck in my favor pass me by now can I?" She huffed in exasperation. "Fat lot of good it did me though seeing as how your last mission together was almost four months ago."

"Wait a minute, you _what?!_ " Sakura asked incredulously, not quite believing that her former mentor had been purposefully throwing herself and her former sensei together - apparently in the hopes that 'nature would take its course' so to speak… _so she could win a bet._

Upon reflection, Sakura did have to note that before taking herself off active duty roughly three months prior, she had been sent out on an inordinate number of missions with her former sensei. And the vast majority of them required intimate interactions between the two of them. She should have seen the warning signs then. Tsunade had done _the exact same thing_ with Tenten and Neji. Though, to all outward appearances that was a _wedding_ pool she was trying to rig in her favor not a _baby_ pool. The failure of a gambler had lost _that_ one too as they'd done the deed while out of the village - during one of those romantic missions no less - to save the expense and general embarrassment of having a huge wedding in Konoha.

The busty medic sighed and focused of the silver-haired man. "What took you so long Hatake - you shooting blanks or something?" She rolled her eyes and huffed in frustration. "Is that something we need to add to your list of things to check out on your annual exam? You _are_ older but not old enough for this to be a potential problem - yet." She glanced down at her book for a moment, pointed at something the couple in front of her couldn't make out and shot him a narrow-eyed glare. "I _do_ expect more than one child you know."

His eye widened in surprise, shock temporarily rendering him speechless. Before he could collect his wits and possibly make a more than likely foolish response, Sakura jumped back into the conversation, her cheeks still faintly tinted with color.

"But… I don't understand." Her cheeks flared almost painfully red once again as she spoke. "Whether we were sleeping together or not during any of those missions is beside the point! I was still on the active duty roster. This," she gestured to her abdomen, " _couldn't_ have happened. Not until I took myself out of the mission rotation anyway…"

The Hokage stared at them blankly for a moment before cursing loudly again. In her excitement of getting in on the ground floor of the Sakura baby pool (with an inside track as to her former apprentice's romantic inclinations), she'd forgotten that all active kunoichi were strongly encouraged to take preventative steps. That way, on the off chance that they found themselves in a bad situation while off on a mission, at the very least, they would not be bringing home any unwanted live souvenirs even if their mission went very badly wrong. It was a small silver lining, of sorts.

" _Damn it!_ " her fist crashed again into the desk - this time shattering the already battered piece of furniture.

Once again, the older silver-haired shinobi found himself responding to the potential threat to Sakura and their unborn child. He found himself pulling her to him to shield her from possible projectiles without his conscious direction. Mentally, he cringed as he had a feeling that his automatic reaction might have earned him a lecture from his angry independent kunoichi later. He knew very well that she was more than capable of protecting herself and up until she'd told him that she thought she was pregnant he'd had no problem with allowing her to do so. Apparently, her pregnancy was going to take more getting used to then he'd realized.

The Hokage silently contemplated the couple in front of her and sighed as she turned her attention to rummaging in the debris of her desk. On some level she understood that it couldn't possibly be their fault that she'd lost the pregnancy announcement pool. However, that did not mean she had to be happy about losing it though.

After a brief search, during which the two soon to be parents disentangled themselves from each other once again, she pulled out the small black book. After a few moments' study, the blonde woman started murmuring to herself. "At least I've got Kakashi down as the father," she sighed, "but nearly everyone still standing has Kakashi down too." She took a moment to glare at the offending man before counting once again. "Looks like I'm still barely in it through side-bets though. And, hmm, there'll be a due date pool as well as gender and number-" she made a rude noise with her lips, "at least I'll get that one. No multiple births in the family tree…"

Still uncertain, the two shinobi in question exchanged quiet glances, wondering once again if they were dismissed. However, knowing better than to assume, they remained where they were - just in case, feeling the mood begin to sour once again as their boss consulted her betting notebook. The longer they waited, however, the stranger and more strained the atmosphere in the room became, putting them both on edge.

The odd mood in the room was suddenly broken as the Hokage's dark-haired assistant staggered in under a precarious pile of scrolls and documents, clearly navigating by memory as there was no possible way for her to see anything from behind her massive pile of paperwork.

Shizune started speaking without checking to see who might be in the room aside from the Hokage. "Farmer John is back again. I don't know what we're going to do though. We've run out of Genin teams." With a sigh of relief, she dropped her stack of paperwork on the Hokage's desk. Or rather, she dropped it on the splintered pile of wood where the Hokage's desk had once been.

Upon seeing her careful stack of papers scatter across the pile of wood that was once a desk and spill over and onto the floor in front of her, one scroll rolling off to the other side of the room and under a table, she heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Again?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned to go find the proper forms to requisition a new desk, just then realizing that she wasn't alone with the village's top medic. "Oh, hello Sakura, Kakashi. What brings you here?" She couldn't help but shoot them a curious glance, wondering if their presence had anything to do with the destroyed desk.

Before either of them could respond the irritated blonde woman answered for them. "Tin roof, rusted."

Shizune blinked, standing there for a moment trying to parse the Hokage's odd statement. "Oh! Congratulations!" she exclaimed once she managed to apply meaning to the statement; it was one she'd not heard for some time so the meaning wasn't immediately apparent.

Kakashi's arm once again slipped around his lover's waist, pulling her a little closer to him, unable to hide his pleased smile.

"Thanks-" Sakura started, an equally happy smile gracing her face, only to be interrupted.

"Yeah, yeah, felicitations for everyone involved." The annoyed village leader gestured impatiently with her hand for her assistant to speed things up, her eyes not leaving her little black book.

Ignoring her superior's irritation, the dark-haired woman continued, "I just knew something like this would happen!" She beamed at the happy couple. "That's why I blocked out this month in the pool. I can't believe I won though! I thought for sure Tsu-"

" _Wait_ , wait!" Sakura held up her hand, not quite able to believe what her friend had just said. " _Et tu_ , Shizune?" she asked with yet more surprise tinged with a little bit of betrayal.

The Hokage's assistant had the grace to flush slightly. "Well… it was obvious to anyone with eyes that you two were together, only a matter of time before… well, you know." She glanced away from the surprised couple, unable to make eye contact. "Especially once you removed yourself from active duty. It seemed too good of a bet to pass up. I just sort of counted and took a guess…" she trailed off as she realized that the atmosphere in the room had suddenly become very dangerous.

Tsunade eyed her assistant with fresh irritation, allowing it to spill over to the couple in front of her as well. "Tell Farmer John that these two newlyweds here will be happy to take care of his request," the blonde woman almost growled.

"But-" Sakura started.

"We're not-" Kakashi tried.

The Hokage glared at the two flustered shinobi in front of her. "You _will be_ the next time I see the two of you."

* * *

Several hours later, the battered, slightly singed and filthy silver-haired jonin slowly and cautiously made his way back to the Hokage's office - alone.

Tsunade looked up upon hearing someone enter her office and felt her jaw drop. "Kakashi, what the hell happened to you?"

"Do not," he paused to exhale a small cloud of soot, "trifle with Farmer John's chickens." He waited a moment, nodded at her still surprised expression and continued, "Farmer John's chickens have progressed beyond a D rating. For any future chicken wrangling missions, might I suggest that you consider a giving them a C or even a B rank if they happen to be feeling especially broody?" He coughed again, expelling another much smaller puff of soot.

Sensing that he could safely get away with just walking out without any further explanation, Kakashi turned to leave but paused to glance over his shoulder at the still flummoxed woman. "If you need me, I'll be with my _'wife'_ getting our paperwork filed at the courthouse. You'll be pleased to know she's there already." He paused, considering if a little preventative action might be warranted. Upon finding that it certainly couldn't hurt he decided to throw her an advantage in the pools - there was absolutely _no way_ she had learned her lesson. "As you know, being a medic and all, Sakura's due in December. _But_ , due to her family history and several other mitigating factors, they're expecting her to go early, in mid-November at the latest. Don't think we've mentioned that bit to anyone yet..."

He paused for a beat to make sure the Hokage understood what he was saying before making his way out of the office. It would, he reasoned, do himself and Sakura a world of good if the Hokage could at least get some sort of jump on everyone else in the baby pool. He could only imagine Sakura's reaction if her former mentor should decide to take her frustration out on them again if she were to lose yet another pool. And a small, hitherto undiscovered part of him wanted nothing more than to ensure that Sakura and their unborn child never had to deal with such things. It was unrealistic and perhaps more than a little old-fashioned he knew, but he couldn't quite stop himself from wanting to protect them - something he would have to keep an eye on as Sakura would likely have an opinion on his old-fashioned take on the matter.

Not that they had intentionally set out to foil the Hokage - it had been, after all, an accident. Though, as far as he was concerned, it was a happy one. Now, thanks to the Hokage's meddling, not only was he going to have a child with the woman he loved (he _was_ smart enough to realize that all of those missions together with Sakura had played no small role in his finally getting together with his former student) but he would _also_ soon be legally married to her! If the price of two such wonderful events was wrangling some ninja chickens, then he considered himself lucky for getting off so lightly.

Silently, he had to heave a sigh of relief as he closed the office door behind him. He could only see two actual things left for everyone to bet on, due date and gender and at least gender was pretty much a fifty-fifty proposition. And hopefully, with the hint he'd just given to the older woman, she'd have an edge over everyone else. He didn't even bother to ponder the blonde woman losing the multiple birth pool since the chances of that were slim to none - Sakura would have said something if she had even suspected.

* * *

Sakura softly padded into their living room, having just emerged from a lengthy and relaxing bath. Finding her new husband lounging on their couch with one of his orange companions in hand, she couldn't help but smile and take a moment to admire the view. He'd really done an amazing job with those chickens earlier - didn't even bat an eye when a particularly vicious one incinerated his copy of the newest Icha Icha novel. Turns out Farmer John had been teaching his chickens far more than basic predator avoidance techniques. Though, teaching them fire jutsu _did_ seem to be going just a little too far.

Kakashi had also not complained when she'd informed him that he could report their mission results on his own. _She_ would instead return to their apartment for their paperwork and a shower before going to the courthouse to get started on filing their papers before it closed for the day. He could then join her to sign whatever documents needed signing, _after_ giving their mission report.

They'd discussed filing the paperwork while chasing the blasted chickens and trying to avoid getting blasted themselves. The intelligent pair had actually already filled everything out before going to see Tsunade, as a precautionary measure. And even though they were fairly certain that the Hokage couldn't actually force them to get married, they figured it would be a good idea to do so anyway - just in case. Besides, it wasn't as though they were averse to the idea, it just hadn't been a top priority for either of them. Now that everything had been squared away legally, she found that she was actually pleased with the results - Sakura wasn't sure how long they may have waited otherwise.

What might have been a tipping point in the favor of filing the papers right away may have been a realization they came to while they were perched on the rusty tin roof of Farmer John's chicken coop. They had had to have a private laugh at Tsunade's old-fashioned way of telling Shizune that Sakura was pregnant. And, while laughing, the two shinobi noticed several other rusty tin roofs on Farmer John's property, informing them of the strong possibility that he had _other_ livestock on his farm. Upon making this realization they had quickly stopped laughing, it was then that it had occurred to them that their relationship status may have been one of the other things Tsunade had bet on in one of her undoubtedly many side bets. Which would explain the not-so-subtle hint for them to make it official. And, if they were to be honest, the last thing either of them had wanted to do at that time would be to irritate her even further. Neither of them wanted to have to wrangle Farmer John's troublesome ninja chickens ever again. Once was more than enough. Neither one of them wanted to even _contemplate_ what might be living in those other outbuildings.

Before heading to the courthouse with their paperwork, Sakura had taken a quick detour to a bookstore after taking her shower. She wanted to pick up a replacement Icha Icha volume for Kakashi as well as the new limited edition re-release of the first volume. She'd just made an interesting discovery and figured he might appreciate the added treat of the limited edition in addition to the replacement volume of Icha Icha Tactics.

Kakashi had been delighted (and not at all suspicious) when she'd presented the _two_ naughty volumes to him as he exited the bathroom after his shower. Sakura had been quite firm in insisting that he get clean as soon as they made it back to their apartment - holding her nose dramatically and pointing to the bathroom - as he'd somehow managed to get even dirtier than she had in their chicken chasing adventure. Wedding night or no, she'd made it clear to her new husband that she didn't want to get near him until he'd had a chance to clean himself up. He'd eagerly complied.

Kakashi had been so pleased with the unexpected gifts that she'd had a mildly difficult time disentangling herself from him - it was, after all, their wedding night. But, she had been determined to remove herself from his arms in order to take a relaxing bath. After their long and highly stressful day, she figured she more than deserved a nice long soak. Anything he may have had planned could wait until _after_ her bath. And, as his resolve waned, she had told him that she would look forward to _whatever_ he may have planned with a saucy wink. The promise that they could pick up where they'd left off after her bath had likely been what had finally gotten the amorous silver-haired man to release her long enough so she could slip through his arms and into the bathroom.

Realizing that she'd been lingering in the doorway for too long, she stepped into the room, noticing him shift ever so slightly to make space for her on the couch as she made her way to his side.

"Kakashi..." she greeted him as she settled herself in his arms on the comfy piece of furniture.

"Yes?" he responded, absently running a hand through her hair before wrapping his arm around her to pull his new wife closer. Thoughts of picking up where they'd left off surfacing pleasantly in his mind. Sakura didn't seem all that impatient, her bath having likely pleasantly relaxed her. Meaning that she wouldn't thank him for moving their evening along _too_ quickly. He would just finish this chapter, only two pages left, and then set his dirty novel aside for the evening in favor of the real thing.

She sighed in contentment, simply enjoying the quiet moment and then smiled. She turned her face toward him and raised a hand to his bare cheek, pulling him a little closer so she could give him a quick kiss. " _You_ can tell her we're having twins."

"Sounds like a plan." He paused, one hand hovering above the page of the replacement Icha Icha novel she had given him. "Wait, _what?!_ "

* * *

A/N: I have had 'Love Shack' by the B-52s stuck in my head for two weeks now. I did it to myself though. ::facepalm:: So this one started out being written for the 'superpowers' prompt - I especially liked the idea of superpowered chickens for some reason (do not ask - I cannot explain this) - but somehow as I was writing the bookends (I needed a _reason_ for Tsunade to send Sakura and Kakashi to go wrangle chickens) it somehow turned more into a 'bets' prompt fic instead. .;;; I do, however, somehow like the idea of Farmer John and his ninja chickens so… they might make an appearance in a future fic… maybe…


End file.
